《Guizhou Wild Animal Park: The animals here are harder to please than your ex!》

[Part 1: The Animal Park's "Law of the Jungle"] Slogan: "The animals here are wilder than your vacation!" 1️⃣Carnivore Zone: "Socialite Tiger" · Siberian tigers and African lions "lie flat" online, occasionally rolling their eyes at you, as if to say, "Biped, remember to use a beauty filter when taking pictures." · Humor tip: Don't sing "The Lion King" to the lions, they might think you're out of tune. 2️⃣Cute Pet Paradise: "Act Cute and Charming Zone" · Alpaca spit warning! Please keep a safe distance when feeding carrots, otherwise you may get a "saliva mask". · Must-see: Red pandas stroll with their tails up. It is recommended to secretly learn their "lazy philosophy". 3️⃣Bird Park: "Bird Stand-up Comedy Show" · Peacocks display their tail feathers depending on their mood. If they ignore you, try complimenting them as "handsome guy/beautiful girl" (metaphysics works). 4️⃣Walking Area: "20,000 Steps Walk" · Wear comfortable shoes! Otherwise, you'll be competing with the flamingos to see who can stand on one leg longer (you'll lose). [Part 2: Around the Zoo: "Survival Guide"] Slogan: "Tired of playing? Just eat!" 🍚Foodie Radar: 🥘Zazuo Pork Knuckle Hot Pot (soul recommendation!) The pork knuckles are stewed until tender and served with sour soup, which is super appetizing. After eating, you'll want to fight the locals for a seat. 📍Address: Old Street, Zazuo Town (10 minutes drive from the zoo) Cold joke: The boss said that the pork knuckle is the "result of the pig's fitness" - but it's a bit overtrained. 🍝Siwawa (Guizhou's light food leader) Thin pancakes wrapped in everything, sour, spicy, and refreshing, suitable for tourists who are afraid of gaining weight to comfort themselves: "This is a salad, um." Roadside barbecue stalls 🧈The fireworks that come out after dark, must-order grilled small tofu + Houttuynia cordata dipping sauce (a challenge for the brave). 🎠Things to do along the way: · Scotland Ranch (pretend to be in Europe) Grassland + windmill + sheep, take photos and post on Moments with the caption: "Guizhou is a branch of Europe, don't worry." · Yangming Cultural Park (recharge your brain) A must-go for Wang Yangming fans. Non-fans can drink a cup of milk tea at the entrance and leave, pretending they've been there. 🏨[Part 3: Accommodation: "Poor but Sleep Well"] Slogan: "I'll lose if it costs more than CNY 200!" 🏨Zazuo Town Express Hotel · Average price of CNY 100–150, clean and sleepable. Disadvantage: The soundproofing may allow you to hear the snoring BGM from next door. 🏘Xiuwen County Homestay · Farmhouse style, the owner will enthusiastically recommend "mysterious wild vegetables" (try with caution). 🏡Guiyang Youth Hostel (suitable for night owls) · Take the late-night bus back to the city, CNY 30 for a bed, and brag to backpackers: "Today I stared at a lion for 10 seconds!" 💡[Ultimate Advice] ❌Anti-scam: Don't believe the small ads for "riding a tiger for photos", it's a toy tiger. ☂️Weather: The weather in Guizhou changes faster than a Sichuan opera, bring an umbrella! Otherwise, you may be laughed at by monkeys. 🚗Transportation: Take the "Zazuo Line" bus from Guiyang to directly reach the destination, or take a taxi for about CNY 80 (sharing a ride is better).