Family Trip to Weizhou Island! These 3 Pitfalls Made Me Want to Turn Into a Hermit Crab

Sisters! Dragged my 5-year-old "sea king" kid to this "jelly sea paradise," almost got smashed into a mermaid jerky by the waves! Kid "caught a jellyfish" (actually a plastic bag) in the reef hotel pool, while mom chased whales till breakfast came back up... Here’s my survival guide after 5 days and 4 nights of blood, sweat, and tears—read this and save yourself from ruining eight bikinis! 🏝️ Immortal-Level Itinerary (Exhausting Mom Edition) Day1⃣️: Landed in Beihai and turned into grilled shrimp 👉 Devoured mantis shrimp at Yuexiang Xiaochu 👉 Collapsed into a seal at the hotel Day2⃣️: Got sun-dried into squid at Crocodile Mountain 👉 Picked up plastic "blue tears" at Dishui Danping 👉 Bought overpriced seashells at Nanwan Street Day3⃣️: Whale-watching till bile was empty 👉 Beach BBQ where sea wind filled us 80% 👉 Stargazing till eyes crossed Day4⃣️: Tide-pooling till we dug to the Earth’s core 👉 Heatstroke in Hanfu at Haisi Shougang 👉 Fish bone stuck in throat at Danjia dinner Day5⃣️: Cried over coconuts at the airport 👉 Swore off beaches for three years ✅ Weizhou Island Reef Hotel Ocean-view rooms made my kid go full sea lion mode! Ran barefoot screaming, "Mom, I stepped on liquid blueberry jam!" Private pool had three rubber ducks—kid insisted they were "the Sea Dragon King’s mounts" and drooled all over them at night 💤 ✅ Whale Chasing Adventure Real-life "Old Man and the Sea"! Speedboat tossed us till breakfast threatened a comeback, but kid screamed through binoculars: "Patrick Star is surfing!" Then a whale’s fin sliced the waves—mom’s shaky hands took 10 blurry pics, while kid pulled out crayons: "I’ll draw it for you!" ✅ Tide-Pooling Battle Became "ocean thieves" at 5 AM! Kid dug up a fingernail-sized crab with a plastic shovel: "This is the General of the East Sea!" Ended up keeping hermit crabs in a water bottle, crying to take them to preschool 🏫 💣 Five Deadly Pitfalls: 1⃣️ No Crocs at Crocodile Mountain! Volcanic rocks shredded soles, kid’s feet became "teppanyaki" 2⃣️ Don’t trust "anti-slip" at Colorful Beach! Kid did splits on algae, butt split into eight pieces 3⃣️ Bargain carefully at Nanwan Market! Kid rolled around clutching shells, vendor sneered: "Don’t touch if not buying!" 4⃣️ Don’t arrive early for beach BBQ! Sea wind chilled the meat, made our stomachs breakdance 5⃣️ Think twice about Hanfu photos at Haisi Shougang! Kid heatstroked in three fabric layers, begged to "streak back to modern times" 🍜 Foodie Warzone: ✔️ Yuexiang Xiaochu’s salt-pepper mantis shrimp 🦐 So crispy we ate the shells—kid made "shrimp-shell dinosaur art" ✔️ Danjia steamed red fish 🐟 So fresh kid drowned rice in broth, devoured three bowls yelling "More!" ✔️ Beach-grilled oysters 🦪 Garlic aroma hypnotic—kid slurped juice like a boiling kettle ✖️ Avoid banana chicken! Sweet-salty horror made kid gag into a meme 📸 Instagram Nukes: 1⃣️ Reef Hotel infinity pool (Photoshop kid into a floating sprite) 2⃣️ Crocodile Mountain lava caves (Goth-style red dress shoot) 3⃣️ Whale fin action shot (Telescope foreground for drama) 4⃣️ Tide-pooling loot (Kid crab-pinching nose for goofy shot) 5⃣️ Haisi Shougang castle sunset (Dreamy silhouettes) 🏡 Accommodation Hits & Misses: ✔️ Weizhou Island Reef Hotel: Free glow-in-the-dark sand tools = kid’s rave party ✔️ Beihai sea-view homestay: Balcony hammock cured nap resistance ✖️ That viral treehouse: "Forest fairyland" = 24/7 mosquito air raids ⚠️ Survival Kit: ✔️ Kids’ full-body UV swimsuit (Sunproof + anti-scrape + no wardrobe fails) ✔️ Foldable drying rack (8 salt-crusted outfits daily) ✔️ Anti-slip water socks (Volcanic rock assassins beware) ✔️ Portable scale (Stop seafood vendors’ "magic hands") On the flight back, kid pulled out a seawater bottle: "My pact with the Sea Dragon King!" Even after picking shells from his hair 10x/day, seeing his scribbled "Whale vs. Mantis Shrimp" masterpiece made it all worth it! (💡 Pro tip: Pack 20 kid outfits! Pool-soaked AM, seafood-stained noon, sand-caked PM… Your washing machine will quit!)